Have you ever been told you have a knack for changing song lyrics into something that’s a little offbeat from the original song? This self-proclaimed trait might have been an inheritance from my very gifted mother, Jackie. She first created her own version of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover,” converting it to “50 Ways to Lose Your Blubber” – a tribute to some college girls that she knew who were in danger of gaining the “Freshman Fifteen.” Later in life, I’d listen and laugh out loud to my talented co-worker from the TV news days, Bob Kirk. During the night news shift at WTVH, Bob would hum a few bars now and then, and sing lyrics like, “Then I saw her face…yeah, she’s a Retriever!”
With that in mind, but with not with as much Beatlemania or numerology, do you all remember the song “2 Doors Down” – Dolly Parton’s rather corny country song from 1977?
Even if you don’t want to admit it, you absolutely DO recall the chorus.
While swimming one morning in Lane 3, new lyrics popped into my head as I saw another female trying to swim her best freestyle in Lane 5. So, here it goes…and dedicated to my new and “inspirational” friend, Kelly. And – if you’re about to head to the pool or open water, sing along if you wish…
2 Lanes down and pullin’ and kickin’ – I’m having my own swim meet!
2 Lanes Down – she’s not aware that I’m around
And here I am swimming my heart out feeling great
But she’s using fins just 2 Lanes Down
I think I’ll wet my goggles and get myself together
I think I’ll freestyle down the lane and take a look to the right
‘Cause I can’t allow myself to be beat by this chick
As I’m having my own lil’ swim meet just 2 lanes down
2 Lanes Down I’m flippin’ then turnin’ – I’m catching her quickly
2 Lanes Down – she’s still using those darn fins
But I’m turning it over every stroke of the way
And I’m gonna kick her ass 2 Lanes down
I think I’ll touch the wall and check out my time
Then I’ll take a breath and see where she is
Since I still can’t allow myself to let her win
‘Cause this is MY swim meet just 2 lanes down
Trust me, when you swim, and especially swim long distances, you have a lot of time to think – and create! Part Two the next time we meet………….